In Sickness

(Written Permission Pending)

Nothing says i love you more than someone caring for another. Nurturing. Checking on. Bringing drinking water. Spoon feeding soup or other nourishing foods. Aiding to reach the bathroom and clumsily changing wet clothing. Palming the forehead for temperature. Adjusting pillows. Praying. Combing bed-head hair. 

A trip to germ-infested Urgent Care or the ER, with 4+-hour cattle-line waits. Clearly communicating symptoms to the doctors. Need I say more? Words are cheap and easy. He patiently demonstrates it. 

Nothing, nothing, nothing says i love you more. A real man nurses/guides his 84-year-old widowed mother back to health (and refrains from sharing the details).

In turn, one real man also cares about li'l ol' me, and we take care of each other and others. i love you, Huggy.

20 Questions & Fro-yo

(Written Permission Pending)

15 or 20 questions... 3 have specific answers:

• What is the ritual? getting ice cream or sharing one cone?
• Share a cone. Because it is a sweet, together-thing? or, because it is cheaper?
• Who gets the first cone lick, or is it a synchronized lick?
• What kind of cone is it? ice cream or fro-yo?
• What flavor?
• Is that a cherry or a snowdrop on the cone's top?
• Two sets of hands fit onto one cone? I don’t know about that!
• Do the snowdrops intentionally resemble a heart-shape?
• Buy a cold cone in the winter? (we do)
• Why eat a cone outside in the cold? Or, is the couple standing inside, with a storefront window behind them? (the picture would be back lit).
• Can some rituals really be silly? (who cares, we need them)
• Are they singing, “Let it Snow”? Or are they laughing?
• How often or regularly does an activity need to be done to be labeled a ritual?
• Do they go to the same place for a cone? (Andys? Braums?)

  

  Huggy: i love you (& Braum's fro-yo)

• See a check mark in the illustration?
• See a number 6?
• See a “drone”?
• How many questions are there, really?

Scrambled Ground

(Written Permission Pending)

Obstacles are things that obstruct or hinder progress. For people who like to get from Point A to Point B fast, obstacles are more than scrambled ground, they are a nuisance. Barricades, barriers, impediments, handicaps, fences, flowing water, walls. When we face an obstacle, common feelings include frustration, anger, impatience. Who, for example, wants treacherous snow-filled roads that delay or endanger our commute? Who wants a painful bone break, that slows us down every day, in every way?

Our subdivision recently installed speed cushions, to either slow down or discourage cut-through traffic. We in our neighborhood will hopefully be safer, as will our mailboxes that have been repeatedly knocked-down like bowling pins by careless or speeding drivers. We hope that drivers are frustrated by obstacles that jolt their car shocks and instead choose to take a nearby smooth road less traveled. Patient souls who drive our neighborhood will slow down and arrive a minute or less later to their destinations.

Mom & Dad cautiously cross over rocky (or scrambled) ground
Mom's birthday month = i love you month

Obstacles can force us to think about alternatives, if we stop to smell the roses. Facing obstacles together is grounding. Two are better than one, because two heads thinking about alternatives should bring a fuller perspective of ideas (The Bible, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 provides richer detail). The other person is there to steady and encourage, which helps us to patiently wait out or deal with scrambled ground. 

For Superbowl weekend kicks and scrambles, (because Bill Murray really is funny, even though he plays super frustrating egocentric Phil), The i love you Project recommends the couples-gotta-re-watch-it-together-movie: Groundhog Day.

Never Say Never

(Written Permission Pending)

Never say never or always. But still, never... camping and sleeping under the stars. It is something we have tried twice. Smelly outhouses with buzzing flies, a rustling raccoon slowly plodding just 2 feet from our heads as we reclined in our tent, mosquitoes, and an all-night downpour taught us a thing or two. Camping is a dirty, buggy, non-sleep activity. We like our sleep.

We did do it! Note the sleep tent
A raccoon walked within 2 feet of our heads

For the adventurous, resilient, and young-at-heart, whose bodies still have enough padding to sleep on cement-like ground, go for it! There will be mishaps... consider them bonding times. The aroma of a roasting turkey, card-playing with forever friends, and experiencing dusk and sunrise in the great outdoors are three camp kudos we will not forget. 

If there is a next time, we will make sure to be as close as possible to the camp site, sleeping in a hotel room, thank you. And because of Huggy's openness to still observing the stars together, in a variety of different ways on clear nights, (other than reclining and camping): i love you. 

Decluttering

(Written Permission Pending)

The Netflix show Tidying Up, with Marie Kondo, is all the rage. Her motto is: Keep things that bring you joy, and store items respectfully. If an item does not bring joy, say thank you, and then donate. 

!! Still too many sweaters !!
Kondo's tidy rule = order... it is working

For example, if a shirt is never worn, say: Thank you for teaching me what I don't like, and be specific (the shape, fit, color, etc.) 

Talking to clothing is a bit mystical, but the idea that a clothing item's purchase was not a total waste of money helps to let go. That shirt taught some sort of lesson.

Donations at Goodwill have significantly increased since the series' airing. America is decluttering and tidying up. This blogger's weakness leans toward owning too many clothing items. The more, the merrier, or so I thought. More wardrobe = more time spent each morning agonizing over an outfit decision. It is wasted time that could be spent fulfilling resolution #2. 

New Year's Resolutions

Important and most important. My 2019 New Year's Resolutions are written on two dominoes, offered to everyone at our church during the spot-on sermon series, Habits. 

Goodwill is thrilled about the declutter mindset, and so is Huggy. Decluttering works when I cull my things; when he feels motivated, he culls his items. Feeling a little less frustrated on my side of the clothes closet gives peace of mind and time for important things. Decluttering with the right mindset = i love you.

Frrrt

(Written Permission Pending)

It is healthy for married couples to have at least one secret they share, only with each. Good, bad, happy, sad. The secret could be smelly. It is something they would not intentionally share with their family, friends, pastor, hairdresser, dentist, or co-workers. But with each other, the secret is safe.

That secret creates a trust bond. A them-and-us, unique relational difference. It could be about their children, parents, a health issue, their past, or a TV show they watch together. 

Mouth-cuffed

What is our little secret? My lips are sealed, zipped, and mouth is cuffed; I dare not tell a soul. Nada. No one. 

See You Later, Alligator

Written Permission Received
Happiness Is... 500 Ways to show i love you
Lisa Swering & Ralph Lazar
Chronicle Books

An attractive woman randomly walks into my office. I will call her Elizabeth. Despite wearing little make-up or bling, she has a natural together look about her. I need to rent my house. Do you know of any couples needing a place? 

Elizabeth begins to share her woeful story: 61 years old, 2 grown children, married 40 years, husband recently left her for another woman. Not only did he leave her, over a span of time he methodically took her name off their shared holdings like bank accounts, retirement nest eggs, and some of their possessions. He even stopped making her car insurance payments. So, unbeknownst to her, she drove 2 months without it. She is left close to penniless except for having an expensive house to live in and pay for and similarly with her car. 

Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
 when I'm 64?
(The Beatles)

At times, Elizabeth compulsively eats, and has gained 15 pounds. She keeps her nice 4-bedroom house set at 60 degrees to afford the heating bill, and her adult son advised her to move states away, to live near him. She wants to hold onto to the house, so renters are needed. And she needs to hire someone for odd jobs, like typing but she has no computer to provide and delivering legal documents.

After walking her to the Student Success Office, I couldn't help but feel enraged with one individual's sneaky ways, as well as sadness for a vulnerable woman and her family. She prays for her husband, but naturally the thought of seeing him again makes her arm hairs stand on end.

My age is close to Elizabeth's. Years with Huggy? 42. Even though it sounds corny, it is still an honor to know I am going to... "see you later, alligator" soon, after your missions tripping. And Huggy will still need me and feed me when I'm (soon) 64. And even better yet, beyond a shadow of doubt, no doubt about it, bet your bottom-dollar, our feelings are mutual:
i love you.